One Year of Blogging Done! Last weekend was the one year anniversary of Oscoey. I can’t believe how quickly the last year has gone! I have learned a lot about blogging over the past year and gotten to know many fabulous bloggers as well. […]
Meal Planning to Save Time and Money I have heard of the wonderful idea called meal planning many times over the past few years and every time I read a post about it I love the idea of having all of our meals planned […]
Going Back to Work
Three weeks ago on a Monday marked a new day in the Oscoey household. For the first time in over three years I am no longer a stay at home mom. I went back to work and the next few months will be a season of change for us. I looked for six months for a job that is a good fit for me and I am pretty sure I found it! It is all very exciting and new and I am sure the first few weeks will be difficult but in the long run it will be better for our family. I have not worked full-time since our oldest daughter was in elementary school and even then it was a retail job so I did not have regular hours. This new job will be my first full-time job with regular hours and I am really excited about it!
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Preparing for going back to work
The last couple of weeks prior to starting work were pretty hectic catching up on last minute tasks that needed to be completed before I no longer had a bunch of time. Laundry, grocery shopping, doctor’s appointments and hiring a nanny topped my list. I would have loved to have the entire house scrubbed from top to bottom but we had a busy weekend before I went back and that just didn’t happen. I settled for reasonably clean and a solid plan in place as to when regular household tasks will be complete.
We originally wanted to hire a nanny for morning drop offs but it kept getting delayed and after a couple of weeks of Mr. Oscoey dropping the kids off he didn’t want to give up that special time with the kids so we are going to try and make it work without one. I start before day care opens but hopefully after I have been at work a while I will have some flexibility with my start time. Child care is a major expense for working families and one of the reasons I held out for so long when finding a job is that I wanted to earn enough that we weren’t breaking even with day care costs.
The change from SAHM to Working Mom
The hardest part of going back to work has been the mental part. My kids had a super easy adjustment. They love their school and my daughter is always asking to stay later so she can hang out with her friends more and now she is able to do that every day and she loves it. My son loves his class too and is always smiling and laughing when I pick him up. Sometimes he doesn’t want to leave either. Neither kid has a hard time at drop off so we at least do not have that to add to the stress of returning to work but I am still having a bunch of mom guilt about going back which is totally normal. It hit me really hard this week when we all came down with the flu. My husband and daughter had it first and I went to work on Monday and Tuesday not being the one at home with a sick kid all day and even though I knew Mr. Oscoey would be an awesome care taker of her it was still hard. My job the past few years has been to take care of the kids and I was always the one to care for them when they were sick while my husband went off to work. Needless to say Mr. Oscoey did an awesome job and I am really grateful that he was able to stay home with her.
Family time is more precious
The biggest challenge for me the past week weeks with working has been time. I have been trying to spend a little bit of time with each kid every day. My daughter gets up with me in the morning and we eat breakfast together before I leave for work. After school I try and get some alone time with my son for a bit before bed time. We have had really busy weekends the past few weeks with a day trip to visit Bellingham, two school auctions, Easter, birthday parties and the usual weekly family activities of dance/gymnastics class. It has been a challenge to fit everything in and I am definitely going to have to scale back my gardening this year but I am more focused on the family when we are all together and as an added bonus since the kids are not home all week making messes the house cleaning has gotten easier. I am looking ahead in our calendar and we have a few full days free on the weekends and I think we should spend some of that time on family day trips to maximize family bonding.
The one thing I have been missing since I went back to work has been the ability to exercise regularly. I worked pretty hard to get back into a great exercise routine the past six or so months and one of the things I had to give up when returning to work was my weekly Stott Pilates sessions. I miss it quite a bit. I am on a waiting list for if a spot opens outside of work hours but I am afraid if I wait too long I will lose all of the progress I worked hard for. I also miss my semi-regular long walks with a good friend. We have been walking for over a year and I will greatly miss our talks and the opportunity to get some much needed exercise in as well! Now that the weather is starting to get better I am going to try going for shorter walks in the evenings in my neighborhood after the kids go to bed. I am also going to try and locate a Pilates studio near my work so that I can continue my progress. I am pretty exhausted when I get home from work but I sit at a desk all day long so exercising after work is a necessity for long term health.
The first few weeks back to work have been a season of change in the Oscoey household. How has going back to work after a period of being home changed your household?
February State of the Garden I thought I would take some time today to show what is happening in the garden before spring officially is here. Spring is coming fast and now is a good time to get the garden ready for planting and […]
Indoor Seed Starting Time It is that time of year again when I start to think about what seeds I need to start indoors. This is our third year gardening at our house and the second year for us starting seeds indoors. Last year […]
I have been taking a break from the blog the past week or so and just been interacting a little bit on Twitter. I thought I would stop in and talk a little bit about end of life planning. One of my close relatives is not doing well this week and the outlook does not seem promising. This person has lead a full life and everyone in the family pretty much agrees that it is better for them to go quickly rather than to linger. That being said, I was really surprised to discover that almost nobody was in the loop as far as what to do if this person (who is the glue that holds our family together) were to get ill and not be able to take care of themselves. I thought that when this person’s spouse passed over a decade ago that everyone got together and hammered things out since it was quite a mess and nobody knew what to do. Needless to say nobody agrees on care and there have been some huge arguments that could have easily been avoided.
Even if you are healthy you should have basic care initiatives laid out in an easily accessible place for family members to follow.
I thought I would talk about some of the more important aspects of long term care and highlight some of the most important areas to plan out in advance. It is highly recommended that adults should have a basic will in place, this is especially true if you have kids. We have one drawn up but not officially signed that basically says that everything is split between the kids evenly. It took us a couple of hours to fill out the forms and we just have to go to a notary to get it signed but life got in the way. This isn’t an excuse though! Last week’s events motivated me to get on the completing of our will. A basic will should not cost you more than a few hundred dollars and many employers offer lawyer services as part of their benefit packages that you should take advantage of to draw up a basic will. You can always go back and change it later but at least you will have something in place with your care directives all lined up. Keep a copy in a fire proof box somewhere in your house that will not be destroyed by a natural disaster (earthquake, tornado etc) and a digital one as well.
The three most important things to have in place are:
DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) Paperwork
This should be very clear on what conditions you want treated. I have worked my way through a couple of these and there is a line on there that describes giving anitbiotics that can be very murky. Do you want antibiotics if they will cure a life-threatening illness? Do you want them for something not necessarily life threatening but could turn into something life threatening later on? Do you want antibiotics for something non life threatening but might cause discomfort? These need to be clearly laid out in the DNR and explained to all people that might have to make a decision about your care under pressure in the hospital (spouses, children, close family and friends).
Example: You fall and break your hip requiring a long stay in a rehabilitation facility. You are unable to use the restroom by yourself and require help which is not so great and you develop a UTI which goes unnoticed until it gets bad. Did you know that UTIs can cause delusional thinking if left untreated? Once they reach that point you will require hospitalization and will be unable to make your own decisions. This is where the antibiotics section of the DNR gets murky. Clearly your issues is the UTI but giving antibiotics to save your life might not be what you want and doctors have to follow the DNR exactly to protect themselves from lawsuits so it is important that you are clear about what you mean by “antibiotic use”.
Clear Instructions for Long Term Care
We spent a lot of time over the weekend wondering what exactly our relative wanted for care. Did they want to stay in their home? Did they want to be placed somewhere? Nobody knew because there was no discussion before hand. It would also be wonderful if someone in the family was in charge of researching what care facilities are good in your area. There has been a lot of scrambling the past few days with people trying to make phone calls and figure out where is a good place that is not too expensive. You should have a rough idea of what places have good reputations and have a clean bill of health. Here is the link to the DSHS long term care facility information page for Washington State. I am sure you can Google your neighborhood and find information about care facilities in your area. This site here provides detailed health inspection reports of nursing homes from Medicare and rates them based on health inspections, quality and staff. I have found it extremely helpful and quite honestly some of the health inspection reports I read were difficult to get through.
Long Term Disability Insurance in Place
You never know what lies ahead and most standard insurance plans do not cover long term care. Nursing homes run from about $8000 to over $12,000 a month and sadly the quality of care somewhat depends on price. Cheaper facilities have fewer staff members available and that can lead to mistakes. Unless you have a large stash of cash set aside just for long term care your relatives may be scrambling to find somewhere that is both affordable and provides the care that you need. I have seen many families try to care for relatives on their own but it is difficult to do and many people burn out quickly.
Even having these three basic plans in place will ease the stress of decision making for your family and make your care go much smoother!
I hope that by writing this out it will at least spark some conversation with the people important to you and hopefully inspire you to take action and get a basic will written out and explained to the people you have chosen to be your care givers in the event that you are incapacitated. At the very least speak to those close to you about your DNR requests so that if they are ever in a position to make a difficult decision they will have some sort of idea of what you want.
Below are some websites that I found with much more detailed information about will writing and many more questions you should be asking yourself. It is not an exhaustive list but somewhere to start the process. Please feel free to comment with any other helpful links! I am sure there are many more out there!
We have come to the end of our Uber Frugal Month Challenge and we were pretty successful! We kept to our super low grocery budget, were mindful about our purchases and had some great discussions about where we want our life to head and what […]
We are entering our final days of the Frugalwoods Uber Frugal Month Challenge and it has been a great refresher for us to get back into our frugal habits. I am finally caught up on all of the emails and they really made us think […]
I have been asked quite a bit lately where the name Oscoey came from. For some reason it always catches me by surprise and I have to wing a response that is short and somehow makes sense and doesn’t turn into an awkward conversation so I thought I would write a little bit about it today. There is a story behind it and I came up with the name many years ago when I first started thinking about blogging but life and children became my priority and I did not get around to actually starting a blog until March of last year.
So where did the name Oscoey come from? When my husband and I first started dating many, many years ago we were dogless and that was a sad state of being since we both love dogs. Then one day my dad called me up and told me about this black and tan dachshund that was his coworker’s. She had divorced and moved across the country with her two dogs and since she was now single she was working 14 hour days her dogs were all alone for that entire time. Needless to say they were not happy being stuck in an apartment for 14 hours a day by themselves and since she loved them and was a responsible owner she was trying to find someone else to take them in. One of the dogs was a lab mix that was too big for us but the other was a black and tan dachshund and if you know me I have a huge soft spot in my heart for dachshunds, especially black and tan ones. His name was Oscar and my daughter and I took one look at him and brought him home with us.
We kept the name Oscar but also gave him the names Mr. Oscarpants and Mr. Stinkerpants and he was the sweetest dog. He loved to cuddle and would sit patiently while my then 8 year old petted him and snuck him treats. His favorite thing to do was to headbutt you until you gave him a good pet. We fell in love with him immediately and my husband would come over and we would all go out to the park to run around.
Let me tell you though, he was a trouble maker! He was completely obsessed with food and everything had to be kept up and off the tables or he would eat himself sick. He had developed anxiety after being left alone for so long in the apartment and any time we left the house he would howl until we got back. My husband was in his first apartment with a “real” job and he caught dog fever and started looking for a dog of his own. He came across this red haired dachshund that was a wild puppy at nine months. She was from a family with little kids that really could not handle her wild puppy ways so he took one look at her and she became part of our family. My husband named her Zoey and Oscar took to her immediately.
We started leaving them alone together and Oscar’s anxiety majorly calmed down. Fast forward a few years (ok many) and my husband and I moved in together and got married. I came up with the name Oscoey during this time. I combined Oscar and Zoey to make Oscoey and told myself if I ever wrote a blog that is what I would name it. The other option was Zoscar but it just doesn’t quite have a good ring to it does it? Zoey and Oscar were very happy together. We called them secret best friends because even though they loved each other so much, they rarely snuggled when we were present. We caught them on camera many times snuggling when we were gone and they were constantly checking in on each other to make sure the other was ok but when we were home they really just wanted to play and get lots of love from us.
We had to let Oscar go shortly before our middle daughter’s first birthday. As is typical with dachshunds, the older he got the worse his back problems became and at some point we had to make a difficult decision. He was refusing medication and even though we were doing everything we could to make him comfortable he was just ready to go. I still think about him almost every day. We all do. He was a wonderful dog and we all miss him. Zoey was kind of lost for a while when her sidekick was gone. Now she is the older dog and starting to have some health problems of her own but luckily her back is strong and we haven’t had any issues with it so far.
It took us almost two years to even consider getting a new dog but we added George to our life in November of 2016 and even though his puppy antics are legendary we absolutely love having him in our family! Zoey usually does not like other dogs but she immediately welcomed George into her flock and George has learned to be careful with her and not squish her with his giant puppy feet.
So there you have it! Oscoey came from the combination of our original dogs’ names Oscar and Zoey. How do you come up with creative names?
Whew. I am a little bit late posting our summary of week three in the Uber Frugal Month Challenge but that is because last week was a whirlwind of expensive things breaking, children being sick and massive amounts of the general craziness that comes from […]